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    December 11

    我想去火星

    老师说:余虹自杀毫无牵绊.他结过两次婚,但最终单身.他预料到自己的死会给人大压力,于是在遗言中注明了:感谢人大.并把自己的藏书全部赠给人大.一定程度上减轻了人大的负罪.真是会做人.

    当真正做到无牵无挂的时候,生死果真简单.我在猜想老师那样说的时候,是不是她也很羡慕余虹呢?她说她坚决反对将余的自杀视为抑郁,因为搞文学的人的死通常很容易理解.

    当这个学科的程序进行到逼迫你交出思想的时候,我反而一片空白.忽然不知道前人留下来这些厚厚的书们是想说什么.说人好,现实不好,还是说他本来好,后来又不好了,还是说他好,但她不好,于是大家都受累了...说来说去就是一团很恶心的东西,那个东西叫人群,他们也许本来好,本来不好,谁都说不清.反正他们团在一起就更说不清了,而且很难看很畸形.偶尔透出一点颜色,你非要说那是美,那就是美吧.可谁知道.从火星上看,那就是一团糊糊.

    我最羡慕余虹的是,他的透明.他生活简单,文字又好,至少大意大家能猜到,或者大家会明白,他不想让别人猜.

    有些人从里到外严严实实那么多壳.谁能知道什么.关键是它不想解释.

    火星上的生活也许会简单的多.

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    kerriewrote:
    我也想去 你如果去了 叫我阿
    Dec. 11

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